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mood

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contemplative

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The hospital is very...busy. Everyone is making certain they have all the shifts and such right for the exams. I'm going to be here for the most part, except when I'm permitted to watch. So, I get to see first hand just what is done to anyone who falls out.

I'm not sure that's exactly a good thing, but all medics who are available are going to be at the site of the exams are in the hospital...

I guess it's best not to worry too much, though. Tsunade-shishou knows what she's doing. That's what I have to believe.

After all, if I didn't it would be that much worse.

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mood

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calm

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The stack of scrolls given to me by Tsunade-sensei has become somewhat smaller, although there were times when I had to go and find referance books and scrolls so that I could figure out what some of the dratted things were speaking of. Normally I'm not so lost, but my mind has been scattered as of late and half the time I'm up and pacing about. It drives my mother mad.

Yesterday at the shop was less boring then I had anticipated. Well, it was boring for most of the time (I really like to avoid being stuck there when possible), but then I got a visit from Hinata.

I've never really spoken with her, probably because back in the time when I wasn't always studying I was always with my team, and we tended to be in different places. And my mind tended to be on other things. The only times I really noticed her were when Naruto spoke to her.

I think I make her nervous. It's odd, because I've never made anyone nervous. Although, now that I think of it, Hinata always seemed nervous when we were at the academy. Withdrawn. But she was very sweet, and I think I would like to know more about her. She seemed so surprised when I invited her over.

We're going to make sweets. I haven't decided what sort, yet, but I have the easiest recipies here with me, and I'll decide after I finish this up.

With something to focus myself on, I'll be able to forget things for a while. Sometimes you can only take the present so much. And Ino hasn't been around lately...and Naruto is training...

I realize that training should focus me, but sometimes I can't help but think while I train. I just can't turn myself off. With someone to speak to, to listen to, my thoughts are occupied with things I like. Things that aren't hurtful or worrying.

But that doesn't really matter; I should go get ready. I'll probably write again after Hinata's visit.

[

mood

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calm

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Naruto not only broke HIS journal, but MINE, too! How does anyone do
that?! No...wait. I really don't want to know, do I?

*Baka. Bakabakabakabaka!!*

Don't worry. I forgave him. He did have to buy the new journal and
owes me dinner later, though. *Yay! Free food!* It's intensely hard to
stay angry with Naruto. *Chokes.* Well, it's hard to stay angry about
the same thing...

Mom and dad are glad I'm back, and I can tell they're more worried
then ever. It's easier to pretend everything is normal when I'm
yelling with Naruto or Ino about something insignificant. Heh...or
just listening to them yell at eachother. *Stupid Ino-Buta and
Naruto...GIVING ME HEADACHES WHEN I'M SICK!* Sometimes I can't find
the energy to end the spats (the cold didn't help). (Ino, are you
doing any better?? I can bring you some soup, if you want. Mom is a
miracle-worker in her own right.)

Sometimes I forget that the nin way isn't the ONLY way to do things.
Mom fixed my cold without anything more than a bowl of hot soup. She
refused to let anyone else look after 'her baby girl'. I think she's
happy that I'm still that--two worlds, right? It takes a while to
figure out which I'm supposed to be in, and I think that scares them.

That I don't know instantly that I belong in the world they're in;
'cause I don't, not always, anymore. Tsunade-shishou and Naruto and
Kakashi-sensei and everyone are just more...real. It seems impossible
that mom and dad's perfect life and perfect shop exist just inside
Konoha.

No, not perfect--just...completely different. Mundane, I suppose. I
can see how it would frighten them that the things that happen outside
of our home, our shop, that they don't quite know or understand those
things. Mom doesn't know what to say to a daughter whom chose blood
over candied hearts. I know they are proud...I just know also that
they are worried about it all, all the things they don't quite know.

I wish I didn't make them worry quite so much. I know very well it's
not a pleasent feeling.

Anyways, I need to go. Naruto owes me dinner! And, hey, mom and dad
are beyond ecstatic that I'm actually going somewhere with my friends
(somewhere that doesn't involve lots of life-danger, I mean), doing
something OTHER then studying or...staring, I guess.

*Moving on...*

I need to see who else we can drag along. Being surrounded by other
people is nice, nowadays. I think Ino can go *assuming she isn't too
busy with her boyfriend*, and she's bound to find plenty of others.

*Has she ever paid for her own food?? Her cell is so...subserviant. Lucky.*

**=screened; inner Sakura.